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Today, I am Not Happy.I've had to study for Abnormal Psychology, and Abnormal Psychology always puts me in a foul mood. Plus, I have church later. I like church. I don't like the children there. So help me God, if they squeal and shriek through service again I will kill every single one of the little shitmonkeys.

My goal?

To work for the BBC. I love BBC. I would almost die of happiness to be one of their journalists.


I'm not doing well. I thought about going to the hospital. Even called their Adult Psychiatric Program to ask them what their procedure was for admitting a college student from out of town with nothing but her student insurance to cover shit. But I called my parents before making any kind of decision. My mom's coming up tomorrow to be with me for a couple days, at least until I'm stable. So if I'm absent from LJ for a couple days, that's why.

I'm a Socialist! RUN! RUN!

For a good laugh, click here: http://www.worldviewweekend.com/test/results.php?regid=2ea9c9b10865eddbf33a4ffbe536ae85&testid=WORLDVIEW&takeid=4661d5beb7e98249fbfaf6875bfac4b0

Kimfa I think you should take this. Please. It would be hilarious.In fact I think we all should take this. Party in hell at my place, guys.
So, yesterday was my birthday. I am now 20 years old, which I find slightly disturbing.

It doesn't matter. I still look 16 and I'm as clumsy as I was when I was 13. I fell up the stairs in the student center's atrium. You know, those big airy things where people get together and chat over coffee and comment on clumsy girls in gray coats. It was fantastic, I tell you. I did find my room key though. Points to me. And, in a terrific burst of hypomanic energy, I rearranged my entire dorm room. I don't think I left anything alone. I moved it all, including my bed, my desk, my big shelves, my fridge and my dresser.

Oh yeah. I'm the Hulk. Just ignore the face twitch.

I have my school things organized too, which leads me to believe that perhaps I have possessed by aliens. Anyway, I'm already aggravated with a loud, stout, blonde girl in my Cultural Anthropology class. Apparently she knows as much as the professor does, and considers it her divinely ordained duty to remind us of this. She also believes that torture is the only thing 'these people' (ie, Iraqis) understand and that it is the only way to get 'it' into their heads. She didn't explain what 'it' was. Democracy, maybe? Or the bountiful goodness of the love of Christ, perhaps? JIHAD!

Christians are far more frightening than Muslims.

On that note, I'm going to church.

Jan. 3rd, 2008

What Be Your Nerd Type?
Your Result: Social Nerd

You're interested in things such as politics, psychology, child care, and peace. I wouldn't go so far as to call you a hippie, but some of you may be tree-huggers. You're the type of people who are interested in bettering the world. You're possible the least nerdy of them all; unless you participate in other activies that paled your nerdiness compared to your involvement in social activities. Whatever the case, we could still use more of you around. ^_^

Literature Nerd
Artistic Nerd
Drama Nerd
Gamer/Computer Nerd
Anime Nerd
Science/Math Nerd
What Be Your Nerd Type?
Quizzes for MySpace


I hope everyone had a Merry Christmas and a Happy Hogswatch.

Also, I got an iPod. And socks, and hand sanitizer, and toothpate. But I also got a Led Zeppelin CD and Coraline, so I'll live. :)

whine, whine, whine

I want to die.

No joke. I have no desire to do anything but a.) cry, b.) sleep or c.) both at once. I am sleep-deprived and depressed. My eyes feel like needles have been stuck in them. I hate this week of the year. I hate finals week and I hate that a really good friend of mine is graduating and leaving. I hate that another friend has become a Mormon and that my mother couldn't come up to get me today because she's sick. I hate that Terry Pratchett has Alzheimer's and that I go to a Christian school where no one's ever heard of Terry Pratchett. I hate that it's winter and that the sun is gone. I hate that I sound like a toddler throwing a tantrum.

I really should find something productive to do, but I don't think I will.



So today was not the best day of my life. Not the worst, mind you, but definitely leaving something to be desired. It started when I found out that one of my best friends from high school has become a Mormon. He used to be a Methodist. I'm still not sure how one goes from Methodism to Mormonism. Anyway, the Mormons have initiated him into the Aaronic priesthood, which is only available to worthy males in the congregation. My friend is one of the most down to earth people I know. When I first heard about this, I thought it was a joke or even just a really vivid dream. Like I was going to wake up and tell him, "Hey, Neal, I had this crazy dream that you were a Mormon! LOL!" But it's not a joke or a dream. He's really, actually become a Mormon. And part of me blames myself for not realizing that he was having difficulties with his faith. I go to school seven hours away from where he and I live. I haven't seen him in months. It's ridiculous for me to blame myself for his decision, but there's a small voice in the back of my head that is trying to convince me that I could have done more to stop it. 

Still reeling from the Mormon Drama, I am treated to a movie in Social Psychology that contained scenes of man on woman domestic abuse. This brings back memories that I am occasionally successful in ignoring. Today, I wasn't so successful. Flash forward to the cafeteria, which is always brutally busy at noon. It's full of idiots that either walk at a snail's pace or stop dead right in front of me. I had a copy of the school paper in my hand and I suddenly realized that I had rolled it up and was holding it in front of me like a weapon. "I'm going to beat the almighty shit out of the next person who stops in front of me," I promised myself, but I didn't. Too bad. It would have been a major stress reliever.

like you

You ask me why I never cry.
I do.
 I just don’t cry like you.
You can’t fix this, and
maybe I don’t want you to.
Let me be.
There is a world that you can’t see
and this is where I leave.
This is where I bow
and now
this is where I lie
Lie, then and ask me if I care
I do.
I just don’t care like you.
You can’t tell the truth, and
maybe I don’t want you to.
Set me free.
There is a truth that you can’t see
and that is what I need
That is what I lack
I track
it back to home
Home is what you offer me
you say
but I don’t say like you
You can’t take me in and
maybe I don’t want you to.
Try to see
I take my home with me
and put it out to sea
That is what I own
and loan
it on to you